My Better Journey – Part 1

Here we go. So I don’t talk about weight loss, fitness and all that on my social media or here. Very little of it in the past year. There was a reason for it. I knew when I started I wanted to be a person who took it seriously and “finished the drill”. I see too many start something and never finish. Never carry on. Never work hard. Do it for silly reasons or have excuses of why they don’t. I knew I didn’t want to do that to myself and I sure didn’t want to be online not being what I said or talked about. You know never know who is reading and watching. They might be inspired by what you say. I like to work hard and sometimes that work comes mentally too. If I have learned anything in the past year, I have learned PATIENCE about getting fit. You don’t fight sweat or aching muscles.. you fight mind over matter.

I have a friend who uses her social media to show her personal journey of fitness and health BUT she waited until she was really far into it before doing that. While she hasn’t finished the drill (do we really ever though? Not really), she has beyond kicked the journey’s ass thus far. So I was thinking this past weekend where I’m at on my journey and I was scrolling through my drafts and notes on my blog and decided it was finally time to post something, at least a little something, to my blog. Seems silly to let it sit in silence. I kept putting it off because I kept thinking… no I need to get further. I need to do more. And truthfully I’m not ready to be a “fitness blogger”. FAR from it. I feel I may not ever be that but I know I can share some things about my journey. This is a entry (one of them) I started almost a year ago. Around February/March 2014. I started a draft back then and I have added notes, thoughts to it for the past year. This was the first main entry I made. It is neat to read it and see my thoughts and words. Who I am then and now. The same. But grown.

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“My job, my only job here in this moment, is to love myself and, by extension, to love others. My job is just to live and to realize that to live is to love.”

I have never been one of those girls who stands in front of a mirror and feels disgusted. I’ve always been content in the physical body. While I always knew I should be and could be smaller in weight (even for health reasons), I never let weight and physical appearance define me. I don’t believe I ever will. I’ve heard my fair share of fat jokes in my life and been called straight out fat to my face by others – from ones that mattered and ones that didn’t… but not to take away from kids and adults who are tormented daily for their weight (and who are way more overweight than me) on such an extreme and harsh level. Words and jokes never really dug at me. They had that initial sting but that feeling never stayed.

At the end of 2013, I consciously decided to get my butt in gear and get healthier. This is not really something I ever did before in my life – like making a concrete choice. I have never even once made one of those dumb New Years resolutions. Ever. I mean I have attempted to do cardio (and have done) and things in the past for fun or to stay active because I’m, by fault, an active/outdoor person. But this time, my brain made a decision. I think most of this stuff is mind and attitude. Persistence and patience. I have always been an energetic person ever since I was a kid. I did the whole sports thing when I was younger – softball and volleyball. I have ALWAYS loved doing sports and not just watching them. Even today. Actually wish I did more. (I love me some badminton too.)

But for me the choice and journey is all about health and energy. (and OMG.. like while in the middle of typing this, I just found out my new nephew or niece is… a… BOY!!! Karate KICK! AWESOME!!! Brother and Mama just gave me the word on the gender. JOY!) Anyways, for me it’s health and energy and…I’m not getting any younger. There is always a medical weight you should be. Clearly I don’t fit, based on my age and height, the standard weight I’m “suppose” to be. I’m considered over-weight.  I AM over-weight. Actually I’m obese.. as in the first, early stages of obesity. To be honest, I weigh more than what most folks realize. I come from a family of “big-boned” and meat. Which I have always been fine with. The women in my family have breasts, thighs, hips, butt… and all that. We are all average height. We are all cut from the same cloth and I like to think we come from good stock. (And once again, not to take away from folks who are obese who have a much harder struggle than I with the physical weight.) My body has always been proportioned. Like I’m not one to have weight all in one area. It spreads itself out from head to toe. Hahaha.

Energy is HUGE for me. While most girls want to be skinny and wear cute bathing suits and cute clothes… I want good ENERGY. I’m an avid outdoors-woman and love to work outside. I like to go hiking when I can. I love the outside world and nature. I love to be very active and I want to have that good energy to do those things and keep doing those things as the years pass. I go to bed at a decent time. Meaning… I like seven/eight hours of sleep. I’m not 22 anymore and don’t need to stay up all hours of the night. NO reason for that. I refuse to be glued to a computer or a cell phone either. That is not me. Sleeping is healthy. The body thanks us for it. Get the damn sleep! (People seem to forget that is a huge factor in getting fit.)

I believe in moderation so that is how I started it. That is my key to all of this. I don’t need a over-night fix. I don’t want a 30 day plan. I don’t need a crazy stupid diet. I don’t want a 8 week burn my ass off and then stop. I like to eat and I like food. I like all kinds of food – healthy and not healthy. I’ve never been an over-eater but I don’t have that body or metabolism that will allow me to eat crap anytime I want. I don’t eat out a lot. Fast food is a treat for me. That’s how it was growing up. I eat 3 meals a day from my Mama’s kitchen to my kitchen. And it’s like that on the weekend most of the time. Since 2014 started, I can count on one hand how many times I have eaten out. (Jan to March) So as far the food and drink part of all this, I drink WAY more water now.  I drink water with meals now. I don’t keep soda in my fridge anymore.  I may get a fountain drink once in a while. (Vanilla COKE or any soda with Cherry) I don’t do diet soda. That makes no sense to me. Never has. Soda is like cookies, ice cream and all that – treat like a treat and it won’t be a problem. I don’t force myself not to drink soda… it’s just I’ve gotten use to water and enjoy it now. Eat good, hearty and healthy most of the time and then go get a milkshake or something you enjoy! But again… moderation. I’m not changing my food intake completely around. I care more about small changes that lead to a forever change. I’m a Southern girl – we eat. One of my favorite enjoyments in life is food and trying different foods. One of the greatest joys while traveling is finding something new to try and experience. Moderation. PORTIONS. Simple meals. Add more healthy food among things you already like.

My exercise consists of MOVING. I don’t care if it’s 5 mins a day or 20 mins a day… everything matters and COUNTS. I don’t do gyms. Never have. Prolly never will… well never say never. If the right time or opportunity presented itself or if a pal wanted to go.. I would prolly go for fun and fitness. (Or if I was at a hotel while traveling.) I have nothing against gyms… it’s just my preference is the outdoors and at home. (Plus it’s free and it goes back to being outside) I do a little work-out in the morning before work, walk/jog a mile on the treadmill on my lunch break and I do another work-out at night. My walking and jogging is done outside or treadmill. I also have an elliptical at my home – the older kind without a seat. I use it half of the time when I’m in the mood for cardio and sweat. Comes in handy while watching my favorite shows at night. I’m the person who will get up during a commercial and start doing leg kicks. I will do jumping jacks while in the kitchen. That’s me. (Please, refrain from that mental image) I think being a gym rat.. you either have it or you don’t. You got to love the gym to stick with it. The few I know who do it, ENJOY it. I’m not doing the join the gym for a month and then quit. No thanks. Everyone has their pattern that works for them for fitness. I have my own way. I like it. (And lets note, anything I believe or type IS FOR ME. It’s how I do it. There are many, many ways to get fit. Many resolutions. Everyone can find what works for them.)

I have never taken a diet pill. I have NEVER put anything in mouth that is a quick-fix to lose weight. No powders, no pills, no “energy” drinks, no weird diet drinks, etc. I don’t buy those products that you mix up and drink and they equal as a full meal and taste like chalk. Ewww. I have never done some crazy diet where you take away carbs or bread or sugars completely, etc. I rather eat things I like in moderation. I have hand weights, jump rope, resistance band, treadmill, elliptical, sports bra and sneakers. That is what I consist of outside of cardio and workouts without any gear or equipment. All of those things I have had for years actually. I don’t think I have spent a dime to lose weight currently. I’m a firm believer you don’t have to spend money to shed fat. That’s just me though. Oh, I lied.. I did buy a new scale to replace my old one. A digital one for 10 bucks. So there… I did spend some money thus far.

So on this day, 3/12/2014, I weigh 220. I’m down over 20+ pounds. I don’t know what my highest weight has been. Never been a scale watcher. But I weighed myself last Fall and… 240 is what it was. Yikes.. crazy eh?!? Before then I have weighed and saw 245. So in reality, my scale weight has been in the 240/250 range. Now you will know why someone like me gets horribly annoyed by women when they complain about gaining 5 pounds or think they are not skinny enough. Or they over-eat on the weekend and think OMG.. I gotta slave in the gym all week. Most girls I see and know have never been over 150 pounds or 160… especially not over 200 pounds… let alone 225… or 245. Never worn over a size 12 in pants. Me… size 16, (size 18 at least once in some brands and styles) These girls are what is normal and consider healthy in their body. They have never known what it feels like not to wear a bathing suit… like myself or shorts even. I love cut-off denim shorts. I’m a country girl. I like simple clothing. But I don’t wear them and I don’t fret. I haven’t worn them in my adulthood. (Some of y’all.. ask yourself if you have ever seen me in any kind of shorts… uh, no.) I know I have the option of one day doing that again if I want. I see these girls complain about their weight and “look” and someone like me has always appreciated myself because there is more to life than to being “skinny” and my naked body is gross by today’s standards. But no matter what, I choose to be happy and joyous. When females quit determining their standards by what looks cute in a picture, they will find their niche in the world with their bodies and health even if they don’t fit the mold… that cool, acceptable mold society has. They will find a pace and persistence to be healthy and happy. They will achieve hard work by determination and not a pants size. They will remember when their partners loved them at any size. Physical attraction is the trigger but attitude and personality steal the heart. (Cheesy but that has always been the reality for other couples around me.)

You will see a lot of women get in shape or diet like crazy right before Summer so they can put on the bathing suits. To me being fit is a lifestyle. If you are a person who doesn’t have those “genes” (meaning eat what you want and when you want and not gain weight) then more than likely you have to make a lifestyle change to achieve your goal. A bathing suit is not a goal for me really. Have I worn one since I was a kid? Yeah.. literally like 5 times prolly. And that’s over like a 25 year span.. haha. No joke. I haven’t worn a bikini since I was a kid. Again… no joke. (And you bitch because your bikini doesn’t look perfect on you) Actually I have worn a full bathing suit only once or twice in the last 15 years. (OBX trips and I wore something over it) Chew on that for a second. I think that needs to change since I want to retire to the Outer Banks! If I had to pick a piece of clothing that I would love to be a factor in all of this.. it would be jeans. HA! Seriously. Great pair of jeans are perfection to me. They always have been and always will be. I actually took out my Wranglers I wore in high school (yes, I kept them) and hung them up. I want to fit back in them for a spell and then go beyond them to the next size. So there is a little goal of mine when it comes to materialistic things and clothing. JEANS.

Oh.. goals. Do I have them during this? Sure. Losing 20 pounds was one. My next goal is to lose another 20 pounds so that’s where I’m at now.  I have no interest in being less than 150/160 pounds. 5K’s? Sure. Been apart of them before but I would love to run one and finish decent. Be serious about them. Feel victorious. Cartwheels, back-bends and splits? YEP. I was the Queen of those when I was younger. I want to do them again. And on that note, I will quit typing. Let this be my first entry for this particular blog.  I will catch up down the road.

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Today, it’s January 2015. I have since bought my own treadmill last summer. Best $300 I’ve spent. Still doing my cardio and always thinking what I can do in small doses through the day and weeks to move my ass and muscles. Kale is my best friend. (and the other Kel still is too) I have learned to have a love/hate relationship with squats. I still love my 15 lb hand weights. Looking to add more weight in my program soon. I have added some simple yoga into my days. I giggle some days at myself because I truly wonder what I look like. HA! I have gotten in the habit of some pretty good healthy normal snacks. I can’t remember the last time I had a greasy sausage biscuit for breakfast. Special K or fruit rules my mornings. My portions with my meals are still good. I no longer weigh myself. Last I weighed, I was 50-ish pounds lighter. I have learned not to worry about “those” numbers in this part of my journey. Maybe I will weight myself come Spring or something. The right people have taught me not to worry about a scale. I have watched my body lose inches with my own eyes. I don’t need a scale to tell me that. Again, energy, health, happiness are goals and what I am. I want to be stronger. I still have my goal weight but the goal is to GET there. Not lose myself to get there. Consistency and happiness is key baby. 

Be back at some point with another entry. I’m learning.

 

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